When I was 16, I read a book that changed the way I saw life. I began to effortlessly notice the causes that produced the effects of life as we know it and experience it every day. Everything was filled with light, and the sensations of touch, smell, taste, and sight were no longer just information from the outside world; they were sensations that, when listened to, all said the same thing: one is all, and all is one.
I carried this awareness within me for years, giving the right words to the right people whenever someone opened their heart to hear the truth.
When I was about 18, I started working. My first job was difficult; it was seasonal work that required me to work 10–12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 3 months, twice a year, for a pittance. I told myself that this would not be my life. Whatever price I had to pay, I would pay it. I didn’t want to be the grateful slave that this system wanted me to become. Since the job took up all my time, I was able to save most of that money.
Thinking about what I liked and what I would like to be doing in 50 years’ time, I thought about sales. I liked quality. I liked dealing with quality products that could do good for people. And the best way to reach as many people as possible was obviously through the internet. So I went to work for a company that was expanding its business with Amazon.
It was even worse. I agreed to earn less than $500 a month because I knew nothing about how to run an Amazon account. I stayed there for a year, learning everything like a sponge — from Amazon models, sales strategies, warehouse management, market analysis, product research, customer service, and more — earning just enough to pay for gas to get to work. During that time, I lived off the money I had saved from my previous job.
When my apprenticeship contract ended, they offered me a strange contract, which I showed to a labor union, discovering that for a year these assholes hadn’t paid me a single euro in overtime (and I worked at least two hours of overtime every day) or paid the contributions I was entitled to. When I asked for an explanation, the owner of the company literally threw me against the wall for my “vanity” in wanting to be paid.
Something inside me broke. Anger pervaded every single atom of my body, and since then I have not been that boy with the light inside anymore. How could a wealthy person be so poor inside? So petty? That son of a bitch destroyed everything I believed being rich was all about.
Shortly after, I left that job, and my wallet was at -$783. I will always remember that. My next job was in an aluminum die-casting factory. I needed to get out of that financial situation, so any job would do.
I literally risked my life when there was an explosion in the aluminum furnace I was working on. Fortunately, I escaped with first-degree burns on 10% of my body, but my colleagues were not so lucky. After a month or two of recovering from the incident, I did some calculations and realized I had enough capital to finally start my own business.
It was then that I met an old school friend, a computer genius who traded as a hobby. I was captivated by the world of trading almost immediately and decided that this would be my path.
It was 2020.
I lost all the money I had managed to save with blood, sweat, and tears in no time. I realized it wasn’t as easy as I had thought. So I started studying. Whenever I heard information that my subconscious recognized, I put my heart and soul into studying and understanding it. I wanted to succeed.
I did other jobs from then on. I was no longer interested in work — my only goal was to have money for my trading account. Over the years, other things happened. I lost most of my friends because I simply didn’t go out drinking or partying with them anymore. I lost my girlfriend for the same reason, and my family was no help in this regard, especially my older brother. I shed countless tears for him.
It got to a point where it was all too much. I really lost myself, but I kept going.
Now I’m at a standstill. My desire to become the free trader I’ve always wanted to be hasn’t changed, but ironically, I now know a million strategies, a million tools, a million different types of analysis — but I’m unable to perform on any of them. For months, I’ve been trying to work on myself, because at this point, it’s literally impossible for the strategies to be the problem. The problem must be me.
So I remembered that 16-year-old boy on the bus reading that book. I felt I had to take a step back in order to move forward. And now that’s what I’m doing. I’m not sure I’m doing it in the best way or to the best of my ability, but as always, I’m moving forward.
This is my story.
These are the reasons why I am reaching out to you.
Thank you for your time if you have read this far.
You need another book. I would start reading it now. My TurtleTrader book is the great place to start.